Yea. I know. I’m four games late. If I was a woman, I would be sprinting to the nearest pharmaceutical store, purchasing 15 different pregnancy tests and calling my best friend to meet me at the nearest toilet. But you know something? I’m not a woman. I’m a man. A man who loves his football [...]
DC Real: Yo Yo. How was your weekend? T Wallace: It’s Friday DC Real: Oh. Well, from your various facebook statuses (stati?) and drunken tweets it appears you got beat up by several bouncers last weekend. Correct? Incorrect? I once got thrown out of a wedding reception. Now that’s being a drunk. But let’s start with [...]
Posted in Football, Outside the ACC 
Tags: DC Real, Football 2010, Loud Noises, T Wallace 
3 Comments »Self-reviews are all the rage these days. My real company (remember, this ain’t a full time job. I have a real one, which comes first, which ya’ll need to think about when you bitch about a column being four days late, like this one is) asks me each year to review my performance, and they [...]
DC Real: Alright Tee Party. We have a lot, and I mean a lot to talk about. National Championship game is set and everyone is happy. Except TCU. Virginia Tech won another ACC Championship and will play football’s hottest coach. And the Connecticut Huskies are in a BCS Bowl. Gives hope to those JMU Dukes. [...]
DC Real: Hello and good morning Tim. I know, I know, feel free to rag on me all you want; I did not write a column last week. President Obama called me at three on Wednesday needing a super-secret envoy to travel to Iran to discuss negotations regarding a potential nuclear arm de–I’ve said too much. [...]
Posted in Basketball, Football, Outside the ACC Tags: DC Real, Football 2010, Loud Noises, T Wallace 1 Comment »DC Real: Alright Carmen Sandiego. Let’s get this party started. Where in the world are you? Alone? In your room? So sad. Me, I’m blogging from my pre-release white iPhone 5 on a yacht in the South China Sea with $20,000 call girls on each arm. I’d like to begin by talking about Utah’s shellacking at the [...]
Posted in Football, Outside the ACC Tags: DC Real, Football 2010, Loud Noises, T Wallace 1 Comment »DC Real: Hoooooooly guacalmoley. I never thought you were right about anything Tee, but your TCU-Oregon prediction for the national championship could come true. I know it’s impossible for us to decide who plays in the game, but there’s no way Texas Christian University can not play for the national title. They went into Utah, and [...]
Posted in Football, Outside the ACC Tags: DC Real, Football 2010, Loud Noises, T Wallace 2 Comments »[Author’s Note: I was told this week that my column had to be more “football-centric.” I figured watching a football game qualifies, so last night I locked myself in my living room and watched, in entirety, Virginia Tech play Georgia Tech. Interspersed throughout the column are my picks for Saturday’s games, mostly written during commercials.] [...]
Welcome to week two of LOUD NOISES, the only FDA-approved blog post in all of America. DC Real: Hey T, how you doing today? Heard you are still reeling from a Sunday night that involved straight shots of Kettle One Oranje and several late night instances of bro rape. Since both your top and bottom [...]
Posted in Football, Outside the ACC Tags: DC Real, Football 2010, Loud Noises, T Wallace No Comments »Ladies and Gentleman, we have a problem. This blog, a mere seven weeks old, still feeding off breast milk and unable to turn its head from side to side, has reached an existential crisis. What am I? The dilemma stems from the same problem I have in every facet of life. I’m just too damn [...]
Posted in Football, Outside the ACC Tags: DC Real, Duke, Football 2010, NCAA Countdown No Comments »